I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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