3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
