Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cockslap morals
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
