she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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