How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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