I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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