Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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