Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she pinky promised me she was 18
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
