You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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