even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
