So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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