I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
do herpes really smell.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
