i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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