so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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