Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
