cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
