Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
