i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
