I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
