so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
ttyl tear gas
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
