is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize