im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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