eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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