I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
