guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize