maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
