I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I sprained my soul last night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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