I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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