im drinking this country out of the recession.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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