Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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