I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
