i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
