We're facebook friends in real life
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
