Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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