It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think my vagina is haunted
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
