What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So vagazzling was a success
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
