I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Shame - the story of my life.
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