Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
