just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
