Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
