Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
