I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
