If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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