STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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