But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
