I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
