Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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