Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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