...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
