Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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