there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
