its not stalking. its research.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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