I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
