I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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